why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
