But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
