The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
3pm strippers are depressing
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
