if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
