no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
