im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
