Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
