all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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