another moral hangover. fuck.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
