Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
