So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
