I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
