but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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