Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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