now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
