Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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