Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
