did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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