Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am available for nakedness
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
