Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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