tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
