No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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