shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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