So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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