We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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