Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
