i think my tv is drunk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
