Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize