Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
