Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
