no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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