His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
