She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
