i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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