he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
