Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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