Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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