i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
