16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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