Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
