Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
