We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
