found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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