okay pat passed out under dana's car
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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