did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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