Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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