i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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