And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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