I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
