Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
