she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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