Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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