I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
